Hello reader

In December's issue:

• Welcome message from Sally

• Winter Activities at South Manchester

• Manchester 10k 2025: Sign up to walk, roll, jog or …

• Did we tell you about…?

• Our Carer’s Christmas Party!

• The UK Dementia Congress 2024

• Personal Care

• TDS Christmas Closure

Welcome message from Sally

We’re nearly at the end of another year, a time when, wisely or not, we tend to reflect…

We’ve lost some precious members and carers this year. That’s the nature of our work.

Some wonderful staff members have also moved on to new work opportunities; thankfully, we’ve also recruited some great new ones too. I hope you’ll get to know Holly and Paula really well next year. Because we are currently operating with a reduced carer support team, we need you to phone in to the office with all your queries, as our staff might not have the time to reach out to you. There will always be someone here who will talk to you and give you advice.

I really want to say a massive thanks to all of you who have supported our work so much this year. It is your commitment and generosity (time, talent, and money) that encourages us to keep going when the going gets tough. Sunday’s concert at Manchester cathedral was a fitting end of year, multi-generational celebration . We’ll post photos and an edited film of the event on our website within the week.

When I look at the TDS 2025 calendar, I’m reminded of the lovely things our members have done at groups and Cafes, with their Together At Home visitor, or on trips out. We all need to seize any opportunity to enjoy good/happy experiences when we can, don’t we?

Sadly, even with a change of Government, there is still no new national strategy or funding for dementia and we hear loud and clear how frustrated and angry you are. I’m pleased that two TDS carers, Naz and Margaret, are members of the Manchester Carers Reference Group and so will be able to get your needs and ideas heard at the highest level. Let’s really hope that the respite offer for carers is improved considerably next year.

All the TDS team wish you you good health and a relaxed, happy Christmas. And, thankfully, the WhatsApp group will be there for you to share greetings, photos, or for you to offload if you’re having tough times.

Sally, CEO
Together Dementia Support

Winter Activities at South Manchester

By Jo Brizland-Cullen, Dementia Support Co-ordinator

As winter sets in, with dark and gloomy days, it can have a big impact on our mood and sense of wellbeing. Our South Manchester group, for people living with dementia, enjoyed a lovely activity, talking about and looking at things that might make us feel more positive and happy. The session created a lot of talk about lifted spirits, so we wanted to share it with you.

Being in nature teaches us how we can learn to adapt and change, much like how trees do. At the moment, you will see how the leaves have fallen off the tress for winter, letting go of all that has been and gone this year. They are resting, waiting for new shoots in the spring, as the cycle begins again.

We drew a big tree and all the members were given red berry circles on which to write what makes them happy or feel more positive. We had a compost heap at the side of the tree for all the things we wanted to throw away.

Not all of the conversations were captured as we made the tree, however the one thing that a few members said was that they would like to throw dementia on the compost heap! We echo their sentiments!

What would some of your positives be? What would you throw onto your compost heap?

Manchester 10k 2025: Sign up to walk, roll, jog or run to raise money for TDS!

Polish off those running shoes - it’s time to get our team together for the Manchester 10k! Next year’s event will take place on Sunday 18 May 2025 and signups are officially…OPEN!

We have been allocated an amazing 25 places this year, and you can choose whether you go with our fast group (joggers and runners) or our steady group (walkers and rollers).

This year’s team raised an astonishing £2,687 - can you help us break their record?

Did we tell you about…?

The fabulous performance of some of our South Asian members at Manchester’s Bridgewater Hall, as part of a dementia music festival called ‘So Many Beauties’. 

The group had had visits from a Bhangra artist, who had taught them a seated exercise/dance routine which celebrated the rituals of working the land – sowing seed, watering, harvesting and feasting.  Not only did the group enjoy the activities at their group, they were also thrilled to perform on the mainstage, along with another South Asian group from Rochdale. 

Our Carer’s Christmas Party!

Last Friday, we threw our annual Christmas bash for all our wonderful carers, to attend with their loved ones. Paula, our new Carer Support Co-Ordinator here at TDS gave us her official party review:

We are also hoping to set a new date in the new year for the postponed meal out for Carers in North Manchester.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Carer’s Story: Judith

Peter is my long-term partner and he was diagnosed with Vascular dementia in 2021.   

I love taking Peter to all the TDS groups and functions – he absolutely loves being with people. I really pride myself in taking care of him well…I take him out as much as I can as he needs to be active. I’ve also secured the house so if he gets up in the evening, I can relax as I know the house is safe.  

TDS has helped me so much- I feel I can ask for advise and all the staff there are very helpful. There’s too many to mention by name! I also now volunteer at the Wythenshawe group where Peter goes, as at the moment he just wants me to be with him all the time.  However as the same time, he can start to mix with other people, play sports with his friends there and I can have a bit of a break as he is engaged and I too am making new friends with the volunteers. We both love attending!

I still try and give Peter a choice in his life, that could be from the meals that I prepare to the clothes he puts on in the morning. I keep the choice simpler but it’s still giving him some independence in his life.   

My motto for caring is to try and stay positive and to remember it is an illness, it’s not Peter’s fault. I never let him see me upset although I do get down - I try take some time out.  Peter is still my soul mate and I love him tremendously.  

The UK Dementia Congress 2024

Every year there is a gathering of professionals, people living with dementia and carers at the Dementia Congress.  This year it was held in Coventry and was attended by Sally, Helen - one of our volunteers, and Louise Lynch - a carer and podcaster.

Sally enjoyed presentations about: 

1. Therapeutic lying (the consensus being that if we are being genuine and compassionate, if it’s done for the right reasons, to maintain the wellbeing of the person with dementia, and if we also remember to validate the person’s emotions, then it’s ok),  

2. People who live alone with dementia. In that presentation there was a powerful statement about the experience of people with dementia - ‘people with dementia often experience a kind of social death’, as others no longer engage with them, and instead either address the caregiver or spouse, or shun interaction altogether’.

   Find out more here:  https://livingalonewithdementia.co.uk 

3. Barriers to engaging with people from BAME communities.  We were reminded that 14% of the 900,000 people living with dementia in the UK are from these communities. Those people need services just like everyone else but economic hardship, cultural attitudes to caregiving, language, trust issues, and prejudice/discrimination are all barriers to successful involvement. 

We also asked Louise what she thought, and she shared her first impressions:

Personal Care

As a person’s dementia progresses, a person will often need more help with personal care tasks such as washing and bathing.  People may still believe they are doing these activities well enough themselves and may not like to be challenged about it. (Just imagine someone telling you that you aren’t clean or that you smell.  It would be most rude, embarrassing or humiliating, if you truly believe that you are clean and well presented).

For most adults, these are personal and private activities, so it can be hard for everyone to adjust. It’s important that you gently try and support your family members to wash and dress in a way that respects their preferences and their dignity. This stage can be a struggle for carers to adapt to, and sometimes it’s better to let agency carers do these tasks.

There has been some recent chat on the WhatsApp group that we thought was really useful so we’re sharing the “top tips” that were posted by other carers and our Carers Champion:   

• Sometimes it’s about creating the right environment with showering so that it’s less stressful for everyone. An obvious thing is to ensure that the bathroom is nice and warm.  Maybe use a nice scented candle, perfumed shower gel, and gentle communication... almost creating a special ‘spa experience’.

• If there is incontinence that needs support with – ask their GP for a referral to the Continence Services or self-refer (see the Manchester Dementia Directory for the contact details).  

• People can often feel embarrassed if having to have help with showers (whether this is with family members or paid carers) if this is an issue we recommend the attractively designed shower drap-ons from Limonattire. Like a veil for the body, simply draping over the wearer and covering everything that it needs to. Importantly, the lightweight fabric is light enough to allow water through and is easily lifted to wash underneath without needing to be removed.

• The use of dry shampoo caps and body washes may help people who are not keen on washes or showers …there are lots of different products around like no rinse shower caps and no rinse bodywash. Take a look here.

• Using a barrier cream around certain areas that are prone to rashes or infection. Speak to your GP for the right prescription.  

• If adaptions or equipment are needed for the bathroom, ask for an Occupational Therapy assessment from the Adult Social Care Contact Centre (0161 234 5001) or if you just need some grab rails, you can request them from Manchester Care and Repair (0161 872 5500 ). 

TDS Christmas Closure

The TDS office will close at 4pm on Monday 23rd December and will re-open at 9am on Thursday 2 January. 

Please do phone us on the 2nd January if you need someone to talk to or if you need any help whatsoever.  

All of our groups and Together At Home visits will finish on Friday 20th December and will restart on Monday 6th January. 

If you need URGENT HELP from Social Services (now called ADULT SOCIAL CARE), phone 0161 234 5001. 

If you have a mental health emergency, and need help from the mental health professionals, phone: 0800 953 0285 

Dates for the Diary: Events for January

The PY Carer’s Group meet on occasional Tuesday evenings in Victoria Park. Shabnam is busy planning the programme for this group in 2025, and would welcome new members!

The first meeting of the year will be Tuesday 21st January, 6:30pm. Get in touch with Shabnam to sign up: 07421 312456 or [email protected]